shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
