is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Do vagina's smell?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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