I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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