ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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