Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
