I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
