We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this will be a night to untag.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
