I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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