and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
