I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
