i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
