I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
