I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
