We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Vodka?
Forever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
