Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
