it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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