new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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