I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just tell him i said nine months
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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