And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize