Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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