We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
