Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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