ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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