I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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