They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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