I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
