I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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