normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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