I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
