how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
