You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
