my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
