Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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