I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
