you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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