whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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