Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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