This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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