She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
