I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
