something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize