All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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