I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just want to make out with him forever
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
