if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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