ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
