no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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