So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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