Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
