Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
