Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
