we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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