shes about as inviting as chlamydia
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
