i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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