so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
