If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
