he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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