I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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