Girls should come with a carfax report
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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