I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
