Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Mom said you looked used
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize