Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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