I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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