I puked a lego.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
