he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize