your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
