Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
