mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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