god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
