oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
