Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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